The Lost Photos

Working predominantly with charcoal on paper, I am developing a series of family portraits retrieved from lost and found photographs that focus on our experiences of colonialisation. The artwork, Mother and Child, is from a rare black and white photo of my mother holding me as an infant. When I travelled back to Cape Town as an adult, I noticed elements in the environment that were undoubtedly African, like the umbrella-shaped acacia tree in a field where we played as children. It is reminiscent of the African Savannah with warm tones of ochre and sepia. Urban dwellings and gardens are trying hard to mimic European cities on the outskirts of this little field. I have placed my mother and child within this context that symbolises the illusion of Africa we were brought up to believe – that it is a place of darkness. I worked with sepia (willow) charcoal dust to create a backdrop of layers, working it into the paper with a paintbrush. I drew the free-following lines of the skeletal trees and the rigid lines of the clothes with compressed charcoal. The opposing lines represent the dichotomies of colonial life – the suppression of a way of life for a perceived better one. The messiness of the charcoal naturally created smudges and speckles of dirt on the white clothing, representing the formidability of nature. Charcoal and paper come from the earth and are the perfect medium for my underlying theme of nature versus human folly.

The Flower Girl is from a photo of me at three. I wanted to mimic the photo's dark tones that represent the mood of the child, who does not seem to be enjoying the moment. She is awkward in her vivid and tussled dress, symbolising my family's coherence to colonial traditions. I referenced Edvard Munch's The Scream to place the child in a precarious context, and I, as the foreseer, have insight into her future life as a woman and person of mixed race.

Father and Daughter is an imagined reference to a story about my early childhood and how I was dropped off on Sundays at my grandparents' house to stay for the week. We are at the back of a double-decker bus, where 'coloured people' could sit. I wanted to continue to portray the rigidity of our traditions as we tried to conform to colonial values and how this presented uneasiness and tension in our lives. It is a work that touched my soul as I worked through issues of abandonment and my relationship with my father.

The video Double-decker Bus is about my experiences with racism on public transport, which may not have been overt. Still, as a young person, it profoundly enhanced my insecurities. The flashing colours and dark stairwell evoke fear and anxiety. My father, whose passport photo features in the video, hated public transport for understandable reasons. The bus also represents historical activism that saw a beginning of awareness. My art is journaling my thoughts, experiences, and small contributions to this activism.